A well retired service tech thought he should expand his interests so he joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he took off his clothes and started to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the old service tech immediately got an erection. The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and said, "Did you call for me?" The old tech replied, "No, what do you mean?"
She said, "You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she lead him to the side of the swimming pool, lay down on a towel, eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.
When finished, the old tech continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the
sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him.
"Did you call for me?" said the hairy man.
"No, what do you mean?" said the old tech.
"You must be new," said the hairy man, "it's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me." The huge man easily spun the poor old tech around, bent him over a bench and had his way with him. The unfortunate old tech staggered back to the colony office, where he was greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, "May I help you?" she said.
The old tech squirmed uncomfortably before saying, "Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee."
"But, Sir," she replied, "you've only been here for a few hours. You haven't had the chance to see all our facilities."
The old tech replied, "Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month but I fart 15 times a day.