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The Cork and the Terrorist
 

Two terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class in Melbourne, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his arse.
'If you do not mind me saying,' said the second, 'that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why don't you take it out?'
'I regret I cannot', lamented the first terrorist. 'It is permanently stuck in my arse'.
'I do not understand,' said the other.
The first terrorist says, 'I was walking along Russell Street and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an Australian Flag attire with a white beard and Akubra hat came boiling out.
He said, 'I am Captain Aussie, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.'
I said, 'No shit?'
 

 
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